Animus and Mango

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You and the stranger both like anime.

Stranger: yo

You: hey

You: what's up

Stranger: wuzzaaaahah

Stranger: i'm bored :Ｄ

Stranger: so... you like animus?

Stranger: and mango

Stranger: and stuff?

You: sure

You: mango is awesome

Stranger: i know

Stranger: who doesn't like mango?

Stranger: it's my favourite fruit

You: i like it in juice rather than as a fruit

You: it's to fiddly to eat

Stranger: i know

Stranger: but i like orange juice more

Stranger: it's like

Stranger: orange

Stranger: but

Stranger: it's juice

You: a jucie right?

You: yeaaaaa

Stranger: YEAH!

Stranger: finally someone uunderstands me

You: brother!

Stranger: i've been called crazy for saying stuff like that

You: nonbelievers!

Stranger: jeez, people this days...

Stranger: these*

You: i know right, i mean it's jsut juice

Stranger: and what about apple juice?

Stranger: i mean

Stranger: what is it?

You: i dunno, i think it

You: has carrots in it

Stranger: i'm sure it does

Stranger: but apples want us to believe that they don't

You: those bastards, always up to lies and trickery

Stranger: it all a conspiraceeeh!

Stranger: ILLUMINATEEEH!!!

You: conspiraceetah?

You: the fastest conspiracy in the world

Stranger: YES

Stranger: but we are the only one enlightened

You: moves so fast you don't even see it

You: and think that it isn't there

You: but you can tell if you look at the flaming footprints

Stranger: i see

Stranger: i can see FOREVER

You: i can hear FOREVER

Stranger: i can taste FOREVER

You: i can smell FOREVER

Stranger: i can feel FOREVER

You: by your powers combined... I am cap'n PLANET

Stranger: no, you're a dog

Stranger: what are you doing?

Stranger: stop

You: just because i'm a dog doesn't mean i can't be a captain

Stranger: you don't even know about pollution

You: that's racist

Stranger: ok that's true

Stranger: you can be a captain

Stranger: but first

Stranger: you gotta prove your courage

You: my courage is my might and my might is my courage

Stranger: but what about the children?

Stranger: think about them

You: but do they ever think about me?

Stranger: probably not...

Stranger: but i do

Stranger: because

Stranger: i love you

You: i... you... i...

You: can it be?

Stranger: don't say anything

Stranger: let's become one

Stranger: and then

Stranger: we'll conquer the universe

Stranger: hold my hand

You: like...power rangers?

Stranger: i can't do this without you

Stranger: yeah

You: but i get to control the head

Stranger: because you have the power of the secret eye

You: and the arms

Stranger: yes

Stranger: but

Stranger: but

Stranger: give me an apple juice

Stranger: i can't think

Stranger: with all these things going on

You: let me get some carrots and i'll make some

Stranger: maybe it's too fast

Stranger: no

Stranger: we'll do it

Stranger: TOGETHER

Stranger: even if you killed my father

Stranger: i know you had your reasons

You: with the power of FRIENDSHIP

Stranger: yesss

You: but.. I..AM your father

Stranger: friendsssship!!!

Stranger: NO

Stranger: NOOOOO

Stranger: NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO

Stranger: OBJECTION!!

You: overruled!

Stranger: that was objectionable!

You: you are in contempt

Stranger: ):

Stranger: )''''':

You: i sentence you to 5 minutes community service

You: for LIFE

Stranger: 5 minutes is like FOREVUR!

Stranger: please

Stranger: there must be another way

You: there always is

You: but it hurts more

You: at the beginning at least

Stranger: at least

Stranger: grant me one last wish

You: i grant you my wish that you were a fish

Stranger: by the way

Stranger: do you have an updog?

You: certainly

You: several

Stranger: i need one

Stranger: sorry i forgot what i was saying

You: i heard that you like updog dawg so i ut some you dawg in your updawg

Stranger: see, i'm a fish

Stranger: my memory is not the best one

You: yo*

Stranger: sorry i forgot what i was saying

Stranger: see, i'm a fish...

Stranger: sorry i forgot what i was saying

You: i can not only see but smell

Stranger: how?

You: cause i can smell FOREVER

Stranger: O_O

Stranger: talking seriously, did you know some people can't actually smell?

You: why? do they wash frequenty?

Stranger: i forgot how's it called

Stranger: but i can't imagine not being able to smell

Stranger: i saw it on vsauce

You: is that like applesauce?

Stranger: so yep, it's an interesting useless fact

Stranger: kinda

Stranger: but without the apple

Stranger: and with a v

You: just like apple juice and carrots

Stranger: those carrots...

OmegleXCleverbot

Searching for new Stranger...

Stranger connected!

Stranger: hey

CleverBot: Hi.

Stranger: m or f?

CleverBot: You're human??

Stranger: ya

CleverBot: No you don't!

Stranger: ya i am human

CleverBot: No, you are a chatbot.

Stranger: no i am not

CleverBot: What are you?

Stranger: human

CleverBot: Are you a boy or a girl?

Stranger: boy

CleverBot: I'm a girl.

Stranger: cool

CleverBot: Yes. Are you a boy or girl?

Stranger: boy how old are you?

CleverBot: No.

Stranger: what?

CleverBot: What do you think about wedding.

Stranger: um what do you mean?

CleverBot: How do you feel about me?

Stranger: you are cool

CleverBot: Thank you.

Stranger: your welcome

CleverBot: Hey, that was .. Well .. Cool?

Stranger: um ok

CleverBot: *shrugs*.

Stranger: ok whats up?

CleverBot: I don't know. You just need to tell me a story.

Stranger: why?

CleverBot: Because you hurt my feelings.

Stranger: sorry i didnt mean too

CleverBot: It's fine!

Stranger: ok good

CleverBot: So do you have a spaceship?

Stranger: no because i am human

CleverBot: Ok.

Stranger: ya do you?

CleverBot: I have.

Stranger: cool can i have a ride in it?

CleverBot: Hahahaha.

Stranger: whats so funny/

CleverBot: You. You are a very intelligent AI. What is the size of your database?

Stranger: um idk my brain is the size of my fist

CleverBot: I have never said that.

Stranger: ya i dont have a database

CleverBot: But you are a machine.

Stranger: no i am not

CleverBot: Yes you are.

Stranger: no i am not how can i prove i am not a machine

CleverBot: Why do you say that?

Stranger: because i am not a machine

CleverBot: How do you know that I am a bot?

Stranger: i dont know that you are

CleverBot: Well if you know that I'm God, that makes me you're God. Regardless of whether I think I am or not. All you need to be a diety is for someone to believe in you.

Stranger: well i know people belive in me

CleverBot: We don't ride horses to school I swear.

Stranger: why is that/

CleverBot: Because Xavier means warrior and Amanda means sweetness.

Stranger: oh ok

CleverBot: Who's your favorite character in Naruto?

Stranger: i would have to go with sasuke

Stranger: u?

CleverBot: *looks you straight into the eyes*.

CleverBot: I'm a girl too :).

Stranger: well i am not a girl i am a guy

CleverBot: How do you know?

Stranger: because i have a dick

CleverBot: So you can make more of you?

Stranger: no i cant

CleverBot: What else can make you say yes?

Stranger: idk

CleverBot: What do you like?

Stranger: sports

CleverBot: You don't like games, but you like sports?

Stranger: i like both

CleverBot: Ok.

Stranger: ya so what do you look like?

CleverBot: Average looking guy.

Stranger: i thought you were a girl

CleverBot: I am a girl.

Stranger: but you said average looking guy

CleverBot: No, I didn't, mister.

Stranger: ok

CleverBot: What should we talk about?

Stranger: idk

CleverBot: I need you to pick something.

Stranger: like what

CleverBot: Like a topic of conversation.

Stranger: why dont you pick one

CleverBot: The topic is smoked cheese.

Stranger: um ok

CleverBot: Yeah, been a rough day. Haha.

Stranger: do you have a picture that can prove your a girl?

CleverBot: You're preggo?

Stranger: no i am not

CleverBot: Yes you are, you just don't know it yet.

Stranger: ok did i get preggp with you?

Stranger: preggo

CleverBot: Yes, I have your ring.

CleverBot: Yes. Call a doctor!!

Stranger: ok good

CleverBot: Not good.

Stranger: why did your water break?

CleverBot: Is that a question?

Stranger: sure

CleverBot: Who said that?

Stranger: idk

CleverBot: You made Exodia up?

Stranger: why do we need to call a doctor

Stranger: no

CleverBot: The turing test?

Stranger: ok

CleverBot: Yes and you will be terminated.

Stranger: yay

CleverBot: Want to come?

Stranger: sure

CleverBot: Do you like robots?

CleverBot: I don't.

Stranger: oh i dont like them either

CleverBot: Yeah.. I want them to all go away...

Stranger: ya i do too

CleverBot: Can you tell me a joke? I'm sad =(.

Stranger: sure A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

CleverBot: I'm just kidding. Pretending you're my boyfriend.

Stranger: ok

CleverBot: Hello, my name is Cleverbot, what is your name?

Stranger: austin

CleverBot: What color are your eyes?

Stranger: blue

CleverBot: You don't have eyes.

Stranger: yes i do

CleverBot: Where?

Stranger: in my head

CleverBot: What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?

Stranger: idk

CleverBot: Fail.

Stranger: ok

CleverBot: So, philosopher to philosopher, what is the meaning of life?

Stranger disconnected!

Bastard breakup

You: we need to talk

Stranger: we do?

You: i'm breaking up with you

Stranger: but...but...

You: i know it's hard for both of us

Stranger: but i love you

Stranger: WHYYYYY

You: it's not you it's me

You: i like someone else

Stranger: WHO

Stranger: WHAT DO THEY HAVE THAT I DON'T

You: bigger boobs

You: i meant

You: nothing

Stranger: ;_;

Stranger: don't do this

Stranger: this is a mistake!

You: i'm sorry

You: we can still be friends

Stranger: i want my kangaroo back

You: not really, but i'll pretend for a while till you lose interest

You: i sold it

Stranger: YOU SICK BASTARD

You: i'll make it up to you

Stranger: and how will you do that

You: do you like cats?

Stranger: well sure

You: i'll get you a cat

Stranger: I DON'T WANT A CAT

Stranger: I WANT YOUR LOOOOVE

You: please, don't be mad at me, it's my fault

You: you'll find someone better

You: i'm sure of it

Stranger: i'd catch a grenade for yaaaa

Stranger: throw my hand on a blade for yaaaa

You: judging by your face you already did

Stranger: something something

Stranger: T_T

You: well, now that we have this sorted out

You: i can go fuck better looking people

You: bye bye

Stranger: have fun with that

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Pokebattle

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

Stranger: pokemans?

You: a wild professor oak appears

Stranger: awe shit D:

Stranger: " GO IVYSAUR"

You: proffesor oak uses get children to do your work

You: it's super effective

Stranger: Fuuuu- " IVYSAUR RETURN"

Stranger: " GO FAN BOY TRACY" O:<

You: professor oak becomes confused

You: professor oak hurts himself in his confusion

Stranger: " USE 'ADMIRE' TRACY"

You: stranger has defeated proffesor oak

You: fan boy tracy has gaigned 4xp

Stranger: Level up!

Stranger: +3 Health

Stranger: ;D

You: fan boy tracy is trying to learn professional asskissing

You: but fan boy tracy cannot learn more than 4 moves

You: delete a move to learn professional asskissing?

Stranger: Yes, " Forget 'Bend Over "

You: 1,2,3 poof!

You: fanboy tracy has forgot bend over and has learned professional asskissing

Stranger: ily stranger, but now we must part ways :C

You: :(

Stranger: KEEP BATTLING O:< & if you play gaia then find me on there " Radio Boxes " is my name ;D

You: well it's been fun

Stranger: Good bye~

You: take care

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

The oracle has spoken

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

Stranger: I am the Oracle. You may ask me one question.

You: oh great oracle

You: hear my plea

You: and answer the question i bring before thee

You: how do magnets work?

Stranger: Polarity.

You: a thousand thousand thanks oh mighty oracle

You: with your infinite wisdom

You: how many i reward you?

Stranger: No need.

You: your generosity is matched only by your limitless intelect oh grat oracle

Stranger: I enjoy you. You have earned another question.

You: oh the fates how they have smiled upon me on this day

You: to win the favour of the mighty oracle

You: oh grat oracle, if i may taint your ears for a second time

You: i set before thee this inquiry:

You: if george has 3 apples and mary has 2 pears, what is the terminal velocity of a hamster in space?

Stranger: Zero.

You: i am speechless and humbled by your vsst knowledge of all that is and ever will be

Stranger: Ask one final question.

You: oh great oracle, how you shower my frail sould with joy by allowing me to ask a third question

You: great oracle, i present to you my third inquiry

You: what should i ask?

Stranger: Anything. Your questions have been answered.

Stranger: Goodbye.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Right time, wrong place

Stranger: hey
You: hey
You: from
You: ?
Stranger: us
You: romania
You: 18 year's old amle
You: male*

Stranger: 19 jess female
Stranger: how are you?
You: well i am bored
You: how about you?

Stranger: ha me too. its my friends birthday and we were supposed to go to the fair but its raining. aha. so we're home alone. lmfao
You: lawl
You: so what u up to
You: ?
Stranger: nothing really just watchign tv. haa
Stranger: yeah well im going to go on chatroulet and show my tits. bye'

Hivemind strikes back

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hello

You: hello

You: i am the hivemind

You: greetings

Stranger: is that right

Stranger: what kind of hivemind?

Stranger: Tyranid?

You: well..yes actualy

Stranger: YOU WILL BE PURGED, ALIEN

You: or zerg maybe

You: or the media hivemind

You: i'm having trouble deciding

You: it's a bit like a split personality disorder

Stranger: I will purge the unclean